Help! I'm a Poke'mon!
by Vulpix of the Looney Bin
Summary: Title says all. This is one of my first fics, It is REALLY stupid. Kind of funny though
1. Chapter 1

  
  
  
  
Hiya people!(and poke'mon) This is yet another one of my Mt. Dew induced stories. I hope that you enjoy it. Note: I am not an actual vulpix, I am a person.  
  
  
Help! I'm a Poke'mon!  
  
  
Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu and Vulpix777(hey, Its my fic, why not) were like in most episodes, lost in the woods.  
Misty: Ash Kechum! Do you have any sense of direction!  
Ash: Well you're the one who said 'Gee, lets take this shortcut,' not me.  
Misty: No, I said turn left not right!  
Ash: You said right!  
Misty: Did not!  
Ash: Did too  
Misty: Did not!  
V7: Looks like you'll have to stop them Pikachu.  
Pikachu: PIKACHU!!! (thunderbolts Ash and Misty)  
Ash&Misty: YAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
Brock: Hey, whats that ahead?  
All look to see a huge abandoned labratory building.  
All: Ooooo!  
Ash: Lets go check it out.  
They enter the building and look around the room.  
Misty: Wow! Look at all these chemicals!  
V7: We better not touch anything.  
Brock: Right, we don't know what they'll do.  
Jessie: Ha ha ha! We've got you brats cornered  
Ash: O no! Not thease guys  
Meowth: Dats' right! Now hand over dat pikachu!  
Ash: You'll never get Pikachu!  
James: I'll get him!  
James lunges to get Pikachu, but slips on a bannana peel, and crashes into a table, knocking over a big jar of liquid labled as "poke'juice". The jar crashes on the floor, splattering evryone with the juice.  
Jessie: Ewwww! My new uniform!  
V7: Yuck! It's in my...  
POP!  
V7: What was that?   
She turns around to find a red, curly tail sticking out of her butt!  
POP!  
POP!  
POP!  
POP!  
POP!  
Okay make that six red curly tails.  
V7: O crud.  
Ash trys to say 'o my gosh!' but instead it comes out...  
Ash: PI PI PIKA!  
Ash claps his hands... well, now little yellow paws, over his mouth.  
Brock: AHHHHHHH!   
Both Brock's legs had melted together and his skin was turning gray. Jessie was simalarly changing, exept her skin was purple instead of gray. Misty's arms sucked up into her body, and she started turning blue. James had lost both arms and legs and was turning yellow. The final result left James a Victrybell, Jessie an Arbok, Brock an Onix, Misty a Poliwag, Ash as a Pikachu, and V7 a Vulpix (duh).  
Ash: Wow! This is pretty cool!  
Misty: Well at least you have arms!  
Brock: Well I don't have arms or legs and I'm not complaning!  
James: Look at me! I can bounce! He He He!  
V7: Hey! I'm pretty cute!  
Ash: Where's Pikachu!  
Pikachu: I'm right here!  
All of them notice Pikachu and Meowth. Because they were already poke'mon, they turned into people! Pikachu now looked like a seven year old boy with blonde hair and green eyes. Meowth looked like a guy in his early twenties, with brown hair and blue eyes. O by the way, they were butt naked.  
Everybody: YAAAAAAAA!!!  
Meowth found some clothes in the locker room, while Pikachu put on a pair of Ash's clothes.  
Jessie: What shold we do?  
Meowth: Hey where's dat bottle? Maybe there are instructions on it.  
Brock: It's over there, in the corner.  
V7: It's next to me I'll get it. Dang! Its upside-down, would someone with hands get over here!   
Pikachu: Here V7, I'll get it!  
But Pikachu slipped on the same banana peel James did, and flew threw the air, landing on Brock's head. Brock roared in suprise, smacking V7 in the butt, making her knock the piece of glass into the wall, shatering it into a billion pieces.  
  
Well they're in a real fix now. What will they do now? All I know, is that it's really hard to type with these paws DAGNABBIT!  
If you want to make a suggestion about what should happen next, e-mail me, or write it in your rating!   



	2. Chapter 2

  
  
Here it is! the long awaited seconed part to Help I'm  
a Poke'mon! By the way, I just realized that I forgot to put  
Togapi in this fic!! Dang!   
  
  
Everyone: Noooooooooo!  
Ash: Whatdowedo! Whatdowedo!!!!  
Jessie: I say we get rid of the bananna  
peel before it dose us anymore damage.  
James bounces over to the bananna  
peel, looks at it for a minute, then eats it.  
James: Yum! Squishy!  
Brock: Guess that's taken care of then...  
Pikachu: Hey there's some writing on the wall over here!  
V7: What dose it say!  
Pikachu: Well, the only human words I can read are Pikachu,  
ketsup, and Danger! Wild Apoms!  
Misty: Lift me up so I can get a look.  
Ash: What dose it say?  
Misty: It says Cinnabar Labs  
Brock: Dose that mean that we have to go all the way  
to Cinnabar Island to get a cure!  
Misty: I guess so...  
Ash: It won't take long, I can use my poke'mon to...  
Brock: Ummm There's a problem with that.  
V7: What kind of problem?  
Brock: Well ya Know at the last poke'mon center when you told  
me to go heal all the poke'mon? Well I was just so busy flirting  
with Nurse Joy that I... forgot them.  
Ash: What! You forgot my poke'mon!   
Ash starts attempting to shock Brock but of course it   
dosen't work. Brock sighs and flicks Ash with his tail. Ash  
smacks onto the wall, and slowly slides to the ground.  
Ash: Look at all the birdies....  
Meowth: Well, we might as well get going.  
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+  
Well that was short, but at least they know where their going  
now. By the way, I am organizing a fic called Tracy Hunt.  
If you would like to be in this fic, email me at   
vulpix_777@hotmail.com. 


	3. Chapter 3

  
Well here we go part 3, can't wait to see what happens  
to me, and i'm getting used to typing with the paws =) You  
should have read at least the first chapter to get what's going on.  
  
Well, we start today with Ash, Misty, Brock, V7,  
Jessie, James, Meowth, and Pikachu. They are on their way  
to Cinnabar Island to find a cure to their... ummm...problem.  
  
Brock: Hey! Why is everyone riding on my head?  
Meowth: Because your big, and we don't feel like walking.   
Brock: Well quit jumping around up there, you're giving me  
a headache!  
V7: Well, I don't weigh over a hundred pounds like some people!  
Jessie: Fine! I'll get off...  
James: Eeeee! Wait for me Jess!  
Ash: Why arn't you getting off Misty?  
Misty: Why you little! *Shoots Ash off with her water gun*  
V7: "Lover's spat alert!"  
Misty: ARGHH!!! * trys to hit V7 with her water gun, but V7  
doges so the water gun hits Brock*  
Brock: YAAAAAA!!! WATER!!!! *throws Misty off his head*  
WATER WATER!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!  
V7: Settle down Brock water gone! Water all gone!  
Water go bye bye, good boy, nice onix...  
Brock: Sorry guys, Water makes onix flip out.  
V7: I guess we have the poke'mon's instincts too.  
Pikachu: I feel so... helpless without my electricity.  
Meowth: I know what you mean, I feel helpless without my claws.   
V7: But you guys don't have to worry, because I'll protect you!  
Brock: Yeah that goes for me too!  
V7: Hey, we should battle each other to build up our streangth!  
Ash: Yeah! and I'm Going to win!  
  
Uh oh... Ash seems a bit over confident. Will he  
win? I don't know but I don't think it will happen. Iv'e  
gotta go draw names to se who will fight who. 


	4. Chapter 4

  
I know what you're thinking, this fic is just  
plain boring and gay and is not the least bit exiting  
or funny. I'm trying to make it better. Anyway, During  
this fic I am seriously going to kick Ash's butt. He is  
a very nice guy, dimwitted, but nice. His over confidence  
just really anoys me.  
  
Misty: Okay, here is match number one: V7 vs. Ash!  
DING DING!!!  
Ash: Mwahahahaha! I'm going to walk all over your six-tailed butt!  
V7: I would love to see you try!  
Ash starts out with a thunderbolt attack, but he has  
bad aim and misses. V7 darts in for a quick attack, but Ash  
is saved by his agility. Ash trys for a thundershock and hits.  
V7, momentarily stunned, is nailed by Ash's swift. V7 regains  
her feet, and glares at Ash, her eyes glowing purple, using her  
confuse ray. Ash runs in for a quick attack, but misses V7 compleatly  
and hits a rock head on. V7 shoots her flamethrower, the flames  
washing over Ash's body. Then, she connects a quick attack  
sending Ash flying.  
DING! DING!  
Misty: Ash is no longer able to battle, V7 wins the match!  
Ash: Hee hee...look at all the birdies...  
V7: Yahoo! Vulpix kicks @$$! Anybody else wanna teke this on?  
Everybody: UH UH!  
Well, now are friends are walking around in the woods.  
Ash: I smell somthing...  
Misty: IT'S WATER!!!!!  
Misty runs a little ways ahead, and jumps into a big river.  
Brock & V7: WATER!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!  
They start running around in circles, until both run into  
a big rock, and are mercifully knocked out.  
Jessie: What's with them?  
Meowth: Fire and rock type poke'mon are hydrophobic.  
Ash: What dose that mean?  
Jessie: It means they're afraid of water dimwit.  
Ash: Thats it! I challlenge you to a match!  
DING DING!!!  
Jessie atempts a poison sting, but Ash dodges with  
agility and thunderbolts Jessie leaving her sizzling.  
Ash: Hahahahahaha!!! I won!  
Jessie: Not yet twerp!  
Jessie Grabs Ash in her coils, squeezing his little  
body. She then Bites him hard.  
Ash: YAAAAAA!!! Owchie! I give I give!!!  
Jessie: That will teach you!  
Pikachu: Ash!!! You are a disgrace to all pikachu!!!   
Well, Brock and V7 regain conciousness. Brock is fine,  
but V7 looks at the water and starts fliping out again.  
V7: YAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Water!!! Lots of WATER!!!!  
Brock wacks her on the head knocking her out.  
Brock: Poor deranged creature...  
Meowth: Has anyone seen James?  
James: Hee Hee Hee!!!  
James is swinging in a tree yelling like a nitwit.  
V7: *Sigh* Boy do I have a headache.... YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!  
WATER!!! HEALLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!  
Once again, Brock knocks her out cold  
Ash: That can't be good for her health...  
Pikachu: She is already a wako, you don't have to make it worse.  
  
Do you guys know how much it hurts to get wacked by an onix?  
WELL I DO NOW!!! Uggg.. my brain hurts...I need to write somthing  
deranged... 


	5. Chapter 5

  
  
Hi, thanks for staying with me this far.  
I think this fic is getting better, if not anything else,  
writing it has improved my style. Today our friends have some  
fun with poke'balls. He He He...  
  
Today, our heros are walking, hoping, and slithering  
along a path.  
  
Jessie: My feet are killing me!  
Meowth: Jessie, you don't have feet.  
Jessie: O yeah...  
Ash: Hey! what's that?  
V7: It's a sign.  
Misty: Hold me up so I can see Pikachu...it says  
"Harly Town, 1/2 mile. Note: Each trainer may onely have  
ONE poke'mon out of its poke'ball at a time."  
Meowth: This is going to be a problem, we have to get on  
the ferry in Harly Town to get to Cinnabar.   
Pikachu: No problem, we can pretend to be poke'mon trainers,  
and these guys can be our poke'mon.  
James: That means most of us have to be in poke'balls!  
V7: But who?!  
Pikachu: Well, Brock Jessie and James are too big.  
Ash: There should be some extra poke'balls in my bag.  
Pikachu: Meowth, you take Jessie and James, I'll take Brock.  
Meowth: Come on guys! In ya go!  
Brock: How am I supposed to fit in there?!  
Pikachu: Well your Onix does, return Brock!! Iv'e always wanted  
to do that!  
Meowth: Well, One of you three will have to go in the ball.  
Pikachu: You be my poke'mon Ash!  
Ash: Have I told you lately that I love you!  
Misty: Please!!! Pick me pick me!!!  
V7: Come on Meowth! Not only am I cute, I'm practicly a babe  
magnet!!!  
Meowth: And into the poke'ball goes Misty!  
Misty: I lothe you.  
V7: Don't take it out on me, I can't help being cute.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Before heading to the dock, our friends stop at a poke'mon   
center.  
  
V7: I'm hungry!  
Ash: Yeah, I wanna eat!  
V7: Oooooo Look a BURGER PLACE!!!  
Ash: GO THERE THEY HAVE KETSUP!!!  
Pikachu: We don't have time to stop, we'll eat on the boat.  
V7: But they have chicken fingers! I LOVE chicken fingers!  
Meowth: Cut it out use guys!  
V7: I'm goning to poop all over you unless you take me to the  
burger place!  
  
Needless to say, that settled the argument.  
  
Ash: Pikachu! Why didn't you tell me that ketsup was so great!  
Pikachu: You've had enough! Give me that bottle!  
Ash: Hey! Give it back!  
Pikachu: It's mine!  
Ash: Noooo!  
Pikachu: Let Go!  
Ash: PIKACHU!!!!! (Thunderbolts Pikachu)  
Pikachu: Yeow! That Hurt!  
Ash: Now you know how it feels!  
V7: Hey! Stop it guys! Your tipping my Barbaque sauce!  
Meowth: We need to get to the dock you guys!  
V7: Look Meowth! Five tuna sandwitches for the price of one!  
Meowth: Tuna!!!  
  
After picking up some burgers for the others, they headed   
tword the dock.  
  
Pikachu: Whitch boat do we take?  
Meowth: The "Seadra".  
V7: Isn't it that boat way out there on the ocean?  
Ash: O man! We missed the boat!  
Meowth: Now how do we get there?  
Pikachu: We could risk our lives in that tiny, rickety, wooden   
boat.  
  
So, because there was no other form of transpertation,   
they took the rickety wooden boat.  
  
Meowth: What do you mean we have to row it?  
V7: I can't row! I don't have hands!   
Ash: Ha ha! The last ketsup packet!   
Pikachu: No way Ash! It's mine!  
Ash: Give it Pikachu!   
Pikachu: I'm your trainer! You have to listen to me!  
Ash: No! I'm your trainer!   
Pikachu: If you don't give it to me I'll read Misty that poem   
you wrote. ( Takes out Misty's poke'ball ) I have it right here.  
Ash: ( cluches the Ketsup packet ) Your lying! I locked that   
poem in my journal!   
Pikachu: ( holds up Ash's journal ) I found it in your backpack.   
Ash: You wouldn't dare.  
Pikachu: Go Misty!  
Misty: Hi guys! How are ya doing?   
Pikachu: Ash wrote this poem Misty.  
Misty: A poem?   
Ash: NOOOOOO!!!   
Pikachu: "Your eyes are endless pools of crystal water,"  
Ash: ( Bangs his head on the boat ) No no no....  
Pikachu: "Your hair is more firey than the campfire flames,"  
Ash: Stop it! Please! I'm begging!   
Pikachu: "and I don't think you'll ever guess how much I care. "  
Misty: Wow Ash...   
Ash: I can explain!   
Misty: I had no clue you had a crush on Lilly!   
Pikachu: ( falls over anime style ) Lilly!  
Misty: Don't worry Ash, your secret is safe with me   
Ash: Thank you!   
V7: Hey, are those storm clouds or is it just me?   
  
Stick with me guys, only a few chapters left! 


	6. Chapter 6

  
  
Okay, I think I'm going to end this today. I would  
like to thank Tygerwind and Phenix for all of their encouregement.  
Thanks for all of your help Tyger!  
  
The group looked up and saw dark clouds were  
advancing over the seas.   
  
Ash: I think we're in trouble...  
  
Meowth: Hey! Look over dere, an Island!  
  
Misty: It could be Cinnabar!  
  
They land on the Island, and take shelter in a  
big castle on the beach.  
  
Pikachu: Who would build a castle on the beach?  
  
V7: Yeah, It sure is WEIRRRRrrrrrrd!!!!  
  
Ash: Ahhhh! Where did V7 go!  
  
Meowth: She just dissapeared... Hey! The pokeballs  
with Jessie and James in them are gone!  
  
Pikachu: Brock's is gone too!  
  
Ash: Yipes! We better be more careful huh Misty... MISTY!!!  
Guys! Misty is GONE!!! Guys... They're all gone too!   
  
Suddenly, A trap door opened up under Ash and he   
fell down a shoot, and landed in a rubber cage. He looked   
around to see all of his friends in cages.  
  
James: Please let me go!!! I don't want to die!!!   
  
Ash: Who did this to us!!!   
  
Brock: I don't know!   
  
V7: This is all my fault!!!! (starts banging head against the bars)  
  
Jessie: How could it be your fault?   
  
V7: This is all the fault of my arch enemy! He set this trap for  
me, and I got all of you stuck in it!   
  
Misty: You have an arch enemy?   
  
Tracy: Yes, she dose.  
  
V7: TRACY!!!! Get over here so I can throttle you   
with your gay headband!!!  
  
Tracy: I'm not that stupid. Now I will take my rvenge on   
you! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
V7: Hey that's MY evil laugh!!!   
  
Ash: We have to go get the antidote! otherwise, I'll   
never get to be a poke'mon master!   
  
Tracy: You mean this antidote? ( Holds up a bottle which says   
Anti-poke'juice)  
  
Tracy begins to laugh evily. Menwhile, Brock discovers   
that the bars of his cage are rather flimsy, and he can eisily   
break them. He charges tword the bars, snaping them and lunging   
at Tracy. Tracy, In the fright of having an Onix charge at   
him, tosses the antidote into the air. It landed on the floor,   
spraying Brock, James, and V7 in the juice, turning them back   
into people. Unfourtunetly, they were also naked.  
  
  
V7& Brock& James: YAHHHHHHHH!!!! ( All run away and return   
with clothing on)  
  
V7: That's much better, Now to the matter of Tracy.   
(Her Trusty-Rusty Chainsaw appears in her hand. )  
  
She rips Tracy to bits with the chainsaw, then   
she Brock and James climb on a Rapidash and ride of into the   
sunset, to go massacure the Tracy Lovers Club with chainsaws,   
( what else? )  
  
Okay, yes I know the end sucked like a vaccume on high  
power. I'm on a Mountain Dew high, so that's probly it. I just   
couldn't resist kiling Tracy. Don't ask me what happened to everyone  
else, because I don't know. And DO NOT FLAME ME!!! I KNOW IT WAS  
STUPID!!!! 


End file.
